The Time and Its Hands

I cannot STAND being late. For anything. I absolutely hate the stress that it causes, the consequences of arriving late and the blemish it leaves on ones’ reputation. It seems like I am the only one of my peers and acquaintances that places value on punctuality. I do not understand how it is acceptable to be tardy in personal interactions. When someone has a job interview, they typically show up 5-10 minutes early. So why can’t that same courtesy be extended when we have a movie date? Or when a few people are meeting up at a club or for dinner?


What really grinds my gears about tardy people is the burden it places on me, because let me tell you-I am always in a constant state of preparation for an event, whether it’s big or small. When I make a plan, I intend to execute it in a timely manner and a lot goes making that happen! For example, if I decide to go to lunch with a friend and we set our meeting time for 2:00pm, then I am going to get out of bed AT LEAST by noon to allow time to get dressed, do small chores around the house, incidentals (stopping  for gas, getting money off of my debit card, traffic, etc). So, theoretically, I would be parked in front of the diner by 1:50pm at the latest.  Punctuality.  Respect.

I try to do my VERY BEST to never show up more than 5 minutes late for anything. I have a perfect record at work due to my attention to the clock and I pride myself on it.


Life is unpredictable enough, so nothing is more annoying than being unprepared and lagging for no reason at all. I understand that sometimes you are late. Sometimes it IS unavoidable or someone ELSE is the reason that you’re slowed down. But not every single time! It stresses me out to notice the lackadaisical attitudes about timeliness, “oh bro, calm down, I’m right around the corner!!! damn! relax!”

I like to employ the 3 Strikes Your Out Rule for all of my social and/or romantic engagements. Show up for the movie late (aw, it’s alright…), come to my house an hour after the original set time (you know, you could try and be a little more punctual), leave me hanging (basically stand me up) for more than an hour (NOPE, you’re done). I hate to be this way, but I despise even more, breaking my neck to try and make a plan come together, just for the other person to drop the ball and arrive tardy.

Usually when someone is late, the entire plan has to be rearranged, for example, the movie plan for 2:00pm ends up being a movie plan for 5:00pm and look! We’ve missed matinee prices, which causes an extra inconvenience that could have been avoided.


It’s irritating. I’m a Type-A personality sometimes and that is why YouTube and Netflix are such great friends, because people are notoriously unreliable.  It bothers me to no end, watching so-and-so pull up in my driveway, 30 minutes AFTER happy hour just ended, profusely apologizing and whatnot. Come on dude, get a watch.



Ah, I am bored. What is new? (Not me being bored obviously). I hate Sunday’s. I feel they should be banished from the calendar. I know they exist for the party animals to let their livers regenerate. And for the church goers to pack into a place of prayer for a few hours before they go into the day to be ornery and full of ridicule. Oops. That slipped.

Anyway, I was thinking about a few phrases that I find ridiculous. Allow me to share.

1) “day-to-day” example: “Beth always makes sure she applies those principles to her day-to-day life”. This bothers me so much. WHAT OTHER TYPE OF LIFE DO YOU HAVE BUT DAY-TO-DAY? It is such a mindless, overused statement. News flash, everything we do is day-to-day. That is what life is: days. It is trying to say that some things are menial, and done daily and at other times we participate in things that are not “day-to-day” like, marching in the Macy’s Day Parade alongside Rihanna. I get it, alright. I just find it annoying.

2) “giving back” example: “I am doing my best to “give back” to the community by volunteering.” GIVING BACK WHAT? I have noticed some things about “a community” and let me tell you, I am not sure it can take much of what it dishes out! Community is an illusion anyway. It is just a bunch of people who do not like each other, an array of grocery stores and schools, forced on everyone equally. “Helping out” would be a much more acceptable catch-phrase here.

3) “sexual favor” example: “you must report if anyone asks you for a unwanted sexual favor” Oh jee, well I did not know sexual activity was a gift to someone. Like,
“here, let me help you out with a nice sexual favor, sweetie!” Sexual contact in whatever context is not lovingly bestowed upon some lucky individual. That is just nonsense. This one is basically working related jargon, not something said in conversations, but it still makes me uneasy.

I am sure I can think of some more horrifying phrases; there are plenty to go around!

La vie boheme!